Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Princess and the......?

Two sisters decided to have a story contest. Morgen, the oldest of ten, and Lauren of eight. And so we begin with the oldest.
A story of a Ten year old:

     "Once upon a time, there lived a Prince who wanted to marry a Real Princess, but couldn't find one anywhere.
Well, it was a dark and stormy night, and the King and Queen heard a knock at their door. They opened it and saw a princess. She said-"
Lauren: "This is Princess and the Pea. It sounds like it."
Morgen: "No it isn't, keep listening.
And the Princess said, 'Please I'm really wet and I need somewhere dry and warm to sleep.'
Well the King and Queen didn't know if she was a real princess.
'I'm really a real princess,' she said.
So the King and Queen decided to see if she really was."
Lauren: "This is the Princess and the Pea!"
Morgen: "No it isn't, let me finish!
So the the Princess was dried and dressed into nice dry clothes. And she got all nice and dry.  And the King and Queen, to see if she was a real Princess, put 100 mattresses with a wet bathing suit at the bottom-"
Lauren [laughs]: "This Is the Princess and the Pea!! You lied!"
Morgen: "NO, It Is Not. You didn't hear what I said before, did you?? Well I'm going to start over, because this is Not the Princess and the Pea.
     Once upon a time, there was a prince who was lonely, and wanted to marry a real princess. One rainy night the King and Queen heard a knock on the door. They opened it and found a princess who asked if she could come in because she was all wet. 'I need a place to stay, and help me get warm.'
The King and Queen wanted to make sure she was a real princess, so they let her stay, and got her all dry and everything.
The Queen then put a 100 mattresses on top of A WET BATHING SUIT!"
Lauren: "Oh. It sounded a lot like the Princess and the Pea."
Morgen: "Yes, I can see how you'd get mixed up. But it's a wet bathing suit.
     So, the next morning, when the King and Queen saw the princess they asked, "How did you sleep?"
The Princess said, "Horrible! I felt all wet all over, even though I was dry. I thought i was drowning."
And the King and Queen knew that she was a real Princess. So Prince and the Princess lived happily ever after."  [Apparently they didn't get married??]

Friday, January 14, 2011

A living Nightmare Part 2

Recap: Ok So there was this big mess, and I tried to make these kids that I was babysitting help, but they tricked me. And I left you hanging in that I had felt something splat on my head.

    I turned around to get some towels, and start cleaning up, when I felt something splat right on my head... Now I know you might think it was an egg, but I'll just have to tell you it wasn't. It was a splattered, organically grown, quite large egg. From a chicken, not an ostrich. I felt that splattered, organically grown, quite large egg go all over my head. I REALLY wanted to get mad. But I closed my eyes..... and sang my ABC's. I turned around to the children, still singing my ABC's, and stared at them. I gave them what felt like a happy laughy grin... But I know it prolly wasn't that, because the kids looked a little scared. But I didn't care. 

    I bent down to a conveniently placed non-splattered, organically grown, quite large egg next to my foot. From a chicken, not an ostrich. Picked it up, and threw. Straight at them. And right in the boy's face. I laughed. They surprised. And I bent down for another egg. They suddenly seemed to get at what was happening. The girl giggled. They had never been given their own medicine before! And it seemed fun. They ran away giggling both of them. I ran with an egg in each hand. So began the fight. We threw everything that was close at hand. And sang our ABC's all the while. 
     We had so much fun, I didn't see the time fly past. I looked at the clock while running by. I immediately stopped, shocked. I felt a yogurt cup splatter against my back. But I didn't care. I turned around to the kids, and they started to laugh, but when they saw my face, they stopped too. I swallowed. 
"Your mom's going to be here in less than 30 minutes."
It was the doomed statement of the year. 
They looked at me, and just stood there.  I looked at them and said,
"Well, let's see what we can do."
And then began the frenzied clean-up, singing Old McDonald as fast as we could. The kids were really willing to help, and they were pretty good at cleaning too. I didn't know they had it in them. The kitchen was the worst, so we attacked it first. The kids really helped, helping me know where to put things. It was as if they had done a lot before.

    It was almost 3 minutes till she would get here, and the boy was vacuuming. And I noticed something. What about our clothes? They were a complete mess. Egg in our hair, soaked all the way through clothes with yogurt, and just about everything else piled on top. Then attacked the third frenzied attack, cleaning ourselves up. And singing Mary had A Little Lamb the whole way. And a lot faster. I cleaned up the girl first, got her in a change of clothes, and washed what i could out of her hair. Then the boy changed his clothes, and I washed his hair. We were just in time, but I was a MESS! I looked around, and quickly got my coat on, hoping she wouldn't notice anything. 

     She came in, and there we were. Smiling. She was shocked it looked like, but recovered. The kids kept on talking how fun it was, and she was really surprised. As she took me home, she asked what we did. 
I answered, "Oh, stuff." And left it at that.
She paid me a lot, and I've kept the job since. We don't do full out fights, but we still have a lot of fun. ;)